Caring in love

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It’s been a year & a half since Mom went to be with Jesus. I don’t begrudge her heaven, but the process of getting her there was a beast. Likewise, the process of my recovery from caregiving has been harder than expected. Two-and-a-half years of caring for Mom full time took a toll on my health. Some of my relationships suffered. I faded into the background at church. I got out of healthy routines. Many days it seemed like life was passing me by. I felt left out, left behind & alone. I also felt incredibly old. Mom’s death wasn’t the end of my caring for her, either. In the months that followed I planned two memorial services in two different states. I paid her remaining bills and taxes, closed and settled accounts, & notified friends & family of the news. I went through all of her things, purged & distributed most, & kept a few. In the midst of all of this necessary activity, I grieved. I grieved haltingly & imperfectly. In stops and starts, with laughter & weeping. Sometimes with others, but often alone. For a while, I wondered if I should have done things differently. Had I made a few tweaks in caregiving and grieving, would things have been easier? Could I have headed some of the hardship off at the pass? These are unproductive questions. Mom’s now happy and whole, & I’ve had more time & distance to process & heal. I’m serving again at church. I’m sleeping (and occasionally sleeping in!) again. I’m reconnecting with friends & repairing relationships with family. I’m living life today & planning for the future. And I have no regrets. My caregiving season was unspeakably hard, but so worth it. I’m a changed person – a softer-hearted & more mature person. I have memories with Mom I’ll never forget. I learned lessons I would not have learned otherwise. Don’t assume that you can’t be a caregiver because you can’t do it perfectly. You’ll never do it perfectly; believe me, I tried. Caregiving is about showing up. It’s about setting aside a season for service & selflessness. It’s a holy calling. And eventually – perhaps when the season’s over – you’ll feel the weight of the privilege you were given. And you’ll thank God for it. -by @andersonlisac

A post shared by Focus on the Family (@focusonthefamily) on

Exodus 20:12 AMP

Honor (respect, obey, care for) yourfatherandyourmother, so that your days may be prolonged in the land the Lordyour God gives you.”

Matthew 25:44-45 TLB

44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

45 “And I will answer, ‘When you refused to help the least of these my brothers, you were refusing help to me.’”

Stay blessed in serving

Pr Paddick van Zyl


Article Focus on the Family ~ Instagram

Published by Coram Deo

Coram Deo means that which takes place in the presence of, or living before the face of, God. Worship, prayer, the Christian life being lived to God's glory...

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