Notes on Dr. Paul Tripp’s Marriage Conference 2019

Some notes on Paul Tripp’s Marriage Conference:

Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019  

“Your marriage isn’t lived in three or four dramatic moments. Your marriage is lived in these little mundane, one-morning-at-a-time, moments. And if God doesn’t rule the mundane where your marriage lives, He doesn’t rule you.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“A marriage is formed by thousands and thousands and thousands of little moments. Listen, the little moments of your marriage are profoundly important, precisely because they are little moments. Because those little moments happen to be the address where your marriage lives.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“Marriages don’t die in big moments. Marriages don’t grow beautiful in big moments. The character of your marriage isn’t set in big moments.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“The little moments in your marriage are where you love, where you hate. They are where you fight, they are where you serve, they are where you demand, they are where you lash out in vengeance. They are the movements where your marriage lives.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“And if you are not interested in the little moments of your marriage, listen to what I’m about to say: you are not interested in your marriage. And if God can’t reach into the little moments of our marriage, there is no hope for our marriages.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“In those little moments, habits get formed. And those habits begin to provide these unseen tracks on which your marriage travels. They begin to set the curves and twists and directions of your marriage. You know what habits are? Habits are things that are so often done, that they begin to get easy, they become automatic, you don’t have to think anymore, you don’t’ have to desire anymore. You automatically, naturally do things because they become habits.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“One of the most loving things that the Creator wired into us is the capacity to develop habits. And so God loving us, knowing how complicated life would be in this fallen world, knowing how difficult things would be, gave us the capacity to develop habits so we could do things naturally without needing to re-learn them again.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“Your marriage is a collection of habits. Because you were wired by God to be a habitual human being. So every marriage is a collection of habits.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“Now we can’t get into this topic without talking about God’s agenda between the already of your conversion (first coming to know Christ) and the not yet of your home going. That’s where your marriage lives. The agenda is not yours. It is the agenda of the Redeemer, the Saviour, the Sovereign King.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“The entire work of your Redeemer, right here, right now, between the already and the not yet (home going) is habit transformation. God is working progressively to form you into the image of His Son so that godliness, what is honourable in Gods eyes, and therefore good for your neighbour, would be habitual for you.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“Marriage is an intentional workroom for something bigger than marriage. Because if God is working to establish, through marriage, personal, present happiness He is a massive failure. That is not His agenda. His agenda is actually this thing called holiness – because you get in tune with God’s purpose and you start moving in the same direction God is moving in those little moments with a progressive change in habits so you are more in tune with God’s doing, you will have the marriage of your dreams. Because you now will be living according to the purpose for which you were created and you will have remarkable unity with that person that you’re living with because you bought into the same set of habits, you’re moving in the same direction, you find the same things fulfilling and satisfying you share purpose, all of a sudden you’ve got a deeper unity than you ever had in any point in your marriage.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“God’s purpose for marriage isn’t that it would be comfortable, God’s purpose for marriage is that it would be transformational.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“You’ve got to hear me saying this: if you put happiness as your highest priority, (in marriage and life) you will chafe against God’s purpose again, and again and again.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“(When the person you are married to drives you up the wall and makes you mad at them) Because marriage isn’t first meant to be comfortable, marriage is meant to be transformational because the whole thing that God is doing in your marriage is using that profoundly significant intimate relationship to transform you…” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“If your eyes ever see and your ears ever hear, the sin, weakness or failure of your husband or your wife, are you listening? – It is never an accident, it is never an interruption, it is always grace. God loves that person you’re married to and He will reveal their need to you, so you can be a tool of His rescuing and transforming grace. Welcome to your marriage!”

“You see – you can’t have transformation, habit transformation, without exposure taking place. Without God revealing what needs to be transformed.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“Human logic says this – why would God put the world’s most comprehensive relationship smackdab in the middle of world’s most important incomplete process (sanctification). Doesn’t that seem out of order for you? Would it not have been easier of God got us sanctified first before we got married? Why do we think that way? Because we’d rather have an easy life, that to be redeemed.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“You’re mad (upset) because you are living with a broke human being, your are mad because you haven’t been able to do, in that human being, what only God can do – change them… and you say ‘why does this have to be so hard?’ Transformation can be discouraging. Transformation means suffering. Transformation means surgery. Transformation is hard…but it is glorious as well” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“God has designed marriage, He knows what He’s doing.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“There are three dangers for your marriage when it comes to this process of transformation: the first one is inattention (neglect), I am deeply persuaded that the number one reason that marriages fail is not adultery, it is neglect. (Our lawns and homes gets more attention than our marriages). Second danger is laziness – we just don’t want to do the work necessary. Rather than doing something (God in His love shows us problem areas) we do nothing. There is a third (danger) – doubt. We just wonder if it will be worth it. Will change ever happen? I want to say this to you tonight: I wouldn’t be in this moment with you if I didn’t believe that. You invest in the transformation of habits in your marriage, not because you trust your spouse but because you trust your God. He will not call you to something that is not good.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“If there were 3 steps, 7 steps, 12 steps that the power to change you and change your marriage, Jesus would have never had to come. The gospel we believe says this – hope is a person and His name is Jesus. The willingness to be part of this process of the transformation of the habits of your marriage, hear this: is a willingness to say ‘I love Jesus, I know He loves me, I believe He is kind and good and faithful and loving and wise, I will step into His workroom because I believe in Jesus.’” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“And habit transformation, it’s this: I am willing to go in the same direction that the Redeemer is going, believing that out of that will be the most beautiful fruit that we could have ever experienced as husband and a wife.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“I am deeply persuaded that our problem in our marriages is not that we are dissatisfied – I think we are all too easily satisfied. We’re satisfied with way less than God has the ability and willingness to give us. Where is God revealing your brokenness, so in His transforming grace He could make you whole again?” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“Marriage – is a workroom. And if it’s a workroom you will feel the hammers and saws of redemption. It is NOT because you are being punished, it’s not because God is absent, distant, not because He is uncaring but because He loves you. And although you’re satisfied, one of the glories of grace is that you’re blessed with a dissatisfied Redeemer, who will not quit, He will not relent until every micro percent is removed from every cell of every heart of every one of His children.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

“God is never disgusted by your brokenness, did you hear what I said? He is never disgusted. He never looks on your brokenness as a judge because Jesus carried all of your judgement. He looks on your brokenness with tenderness, and love and powerful grace, and the hope for all of us, and this is my hope too – I have not yet arrived. There is a Redeemer who wants more for me in my marriage than I would ever want for myself. And if you believe that then you are willing to look at your habits and you’re willing to say: ‘Let’s follow Him to a better place than we are right now, as a husband and a wife. God is in your mess and He is in it for good.” Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

Stay blessed in being transfomred in your marriage

Pr. Paddick van Zyl


Content :

Paul Tripp Marriage Conference 2019

Published by Coram Deo

Coram Deo means that which takes place in the presence of, or living before the face of, God. Worship, prayer, the Christian life being lived to God's glory...

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